"As you discover yourself, you will realize that your old friends do not understand or support your growth and ambition to live life on your own terms." - My Flexibility Manifesto: Following Your Passion 2 SuccessIn my previous article, I discussed the idea of fear and that most people admit possessing a fear of failure. That fear of failure is socially constructed. Through our interactions with information (social media, news, history, books, podcasts, etc.) and our interactions with people (family, friends, classmates, customers, peers, etc.), we develop perceived expectations of ourself. Those expectations sometimes overwhelm us and define us.
In Chapter 4, "Why Are You Scared?" of my book, I recommend several steps to overcome fear. Examining a few of the steps, I will share one of my fears.
- Write down your fears. I fear the possibility of being unloved.
- Talk to someone you trust about your fears. I confessed to my wife that I was upset that my family did not make more of an effort to be a part of my life, more importantly that of my daughter's. It has been a year and a half since my family has seen my daughter. During that time, a lot has changed for my family career-wise and income-wise. Thankfully, amazing opportunities have opened up for us, which, will dramatically improve our economic stability. But during that time of struggle, where has the support been? Outside of my parents, where was the family support for me when I was teaching, starting my own business, earning my master's degree, relocating to Tennessee, relocating from Nashville to Memphis, when I was in between jobs?
- Seek constructive advice regarding your fear. I plan to speak to a counselor. When I write about my fears and speak to trusted friends, it will bring closure on this issue.
- Form a support group. Be creative and assertive in building your army. Extended friends and family can become great supporters. Add value to others and people will be drawn to you and your goals. Be transparent, honest and trustworthy. From church groups to greek organizations, there are many options to connect with people.